Because of my post a few days ago of the Rod Stewart/Jeff Beck version of People Get Ready(my favorite). i thought I need to put up something I liked a lot by the originators of that song. So here’s one popular when I was a mere lad:
While flying down the road one morning, a young woman crossed over a bridge, only to find a police officer with a radar gun lying in wait behind a sign.
The cop pulled her over, walking up to the car with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, and asked, “What’s your hurry?”
To which she replied, “I’m late for work.”
“Oh yea,” said the cop, “What do you do?”
“I’m a rectum stretcher.”
“A what…” stammered the cop.
“A rectum stretcher!”
“Just what does a rectum stretcher do?”
“Well,” she said, “I start by working one finger into the rectum, then two, then three, until I get the whole hand in. Then I work back and forth until I can get the second hand in, finally working them apart until I have it six foot wide.”
“And what,” snapped the cop, “do you do with a six foot asshole?”
“You give him a radar gun and hide him behind a sign!”
SPEEDING TICKET: $95.00
COURT COSTS: $45.00
THE LOOK ON THE COP”S FACE: Priceless
For everything else, there’s… MasterCard.