I came across this elsewhere and thought they were funny. These are supposedly from answers from Hollywood Squares many years back. If they weren’t, they could have been.
Q; Paul, what’s a good reason for pounding meat?
A: Paul Lynde: Loneliness!
Q: Do female frogs croak?
A: Paul: If you hold their head underwater long enough!
Q: Paul, why do Hell’s Angels wear leather?
A: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily!
Q: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body. What is it?
A: Paul: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn’t neglected!
Q:According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A: Paul: Point and Laugh!
Q: It’s considered bad taste to discuss two things at nudist camps. One is politics. What is the other?
A: Paul: Tape measures!
Q: If you’re going to make a parachute jump, how high should you be?
A: Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking ought to do it!
Q:Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A: Charley: My sense of decency!
Q: Charley, you’ve decided to grow strawberries. Will you get any the first year?
A: Of course not. I’m too busy growing strawberries!
Q: When a couple has a baby, who is responsible for it’s sex?
A; Charley: I’ll lend him my car. The rest is up to him!
Q: Jackie Gleason revealed once that he personally believed in them and had seen them on two occasions. What are they?
A: Charley: His feet!
Q: According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with kissing a lot of people?
A: Charley: It got me out of the army!
Q True or false, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years?
A: George Gobel: It sure seems that way sometimes!(how true)
Q: Can boys join the Campfire girls?
A: Marty Allen: Only after lights out!
Q: You’ve been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A: Don Knotts: That’s what’s been keeping me awake!
Q: During a tornado, are you safer in your bedroom or a closet?
A: Rose Marie: Unfortunately, I’m always safe in my bedroom!
Q: According to Cosmopolitian, if you meet a stranger at a party, is it okay to come right out and ask him if he’s married?
A: Rose Marie: No, wait until the next morning!
Q: In Hawaii, does it take more than three words to say, “I love you?”
A: Vincent Price: No, only a pineapple and a twenty!