A blonde hurried into the emergency room of her local hospital late one night with the tip of her finger shot off. “How did that happen?” The emergency room doctor asked her.

“Well, I was trying to commit suicide,” she replied.

“What? You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off!:

“No, silly,” the blonde said, “First I put the gun to my chest, and then I thought, I just paid $6,000 for these breasts…I’m not shooting myself there!”


“Then I put the gun in my mouth, and then thought, I paid $3,000 to get my teeth straightened. I’m not shooting myself there.”

“So then?”

“I put the gun to one ear and thought, this is going to make a loud noise, so I put a finger in my other ear!”